Living the Dream

In March 2012, in the midst of dark, dreary hard work and apparent infertility, I drew a picture. In this picture, Husband and I walked along the river bank of the city in which we now live; pushing a pram and chatting to my parents, who are local to it. Above the picture, I wrote…

One Christmas

I remember my first ever Christmas away from the family home. I was 18 years old and my new, would-be-forever friend and I were on our northern, shoe string version of a gap-yah in the Far East; excited but devastated to be doing something so grown-up as spending Christmas on our own. Naturally, we had…

A Thrill of Hope

“What am I going to do?! We are heading out to Curacy… to “do church” for a living… and I just don’t think I’m actually a Christian!”

Curacy Bites

“I can’t believe we’re going to meet our new churches today. It’s weird isn’t it? Like I’m nervous, but it’s already sorted, so… I dunno…” “Yeah. Is this lipstick too much?” “No, it’s hot. It’s just that first impressions make me nervous you know?” “Hot? Like too hot for a Vicar’s wife?” “I thought you…

Wee Wins

Warning: this post contains scenes of extreme defecation.  In my previous post I mentioned a serious bout of Cabin Fever, brought on by a poorly baby and an unavoidable month indoors. What I didn’t add was that, out of some bizarre stroke of madness, I decided to stick a week of intensive potty training on…

Retreat

I’ve not had much luck with retreats recently. In January, Husband booked me a spa day for Christmas with a set date and time. (Admittedly, this was not a time I would have chosen, as Tiny was still very Tiny; meaning that I actually spent a quarter of the day in a used hotel room,…

Outlovers

This morning the face of our country changed; it turned its head to the right and its bemused expression spoke a thousand words. Like a disaffected teenager, it “screwed the world” to be alone; but only half its heart was in it.  This morning my heart sank and my stomach churned. I cried actual tears…

Big Church

We recently reached the stage where Toddler’s blissful afternoon naps equate to hours of late night stomping, sneaking and hysterics. As a result, this week marked the beginning of the ‘full day challenge‘; an attempt to keep her awake and entertained for the entire afternoon when she really could do with a nap. (This largely…

The Fear

Once upon a time I got stuck up a tree. In fact, I’m lying. It was more than once. It’s actually an embarrassingly familiar scene; cowering over the edge of some rope swing situation, while a queue of kamakazi nutcases tut with impatience, and some well-meaning “encourager” offers decreasingly encouraging encouragement. (I honestly don’t care how secure the harness…

The Football Analogy

It’s no secret, to those who know us, that Husband struggles with certain aspects of the English language. What is not so commonly acknowledged, however, is his flawless fluency in another: football. I mean, I’m not just talking conversational football here (you know, commonly used referee insults and how to order a cup of Bovril);…

Mary, Martha, Mother

When Husband first finished pat leave, I was both excited and nervous about adjusting to this new, longed-for life as a mum at home. As a teacher, I’d worked to objectives and deadlines; now that I was queen of my own time and resources, however, I was surprisingly daunted by the open road ahead. (Though let’s be…

Two Bumps

Two bumps, unlike in elasticity, Sprung from one’s uterus, where we burst our seams. From recent stretch, breaks new mutantcy, As one giant babe makes the first one seem a breeze. Forth from the foetal growth in these two domes A pair of emptied udders regain their life; As a second misdirected exit overthrows Romance…